Troubled Teens: How Can We Save Them?
When thinking about the culture of poverty, start with the proposition that poverty is evil– people are not. By way of example, we’re all born equally innocent, a happy baby in search of the good. There is no rule that says a child born in poverty is less innocent, less intelligent, less motivated, or less important that a child born into immense wealth. So, what happens to cause children to drift away, or digress from that which humans are naturally built to do—quest after the search of good?
Mike Tyson, by the age of thirteen, had been arrested over a dozen times and eventually landed in a reform school. Cus D’Amato accepted Mike Tyson into his home and over a period of many months worked with Mike on issues of character, morality, and the quest for good.
In his documentary, Mike credits D’Amato with turning his life around and making him a better person. Mike commented that D’Amato kept telling him he was the greatest until one day he started believing in himself, that he really could be the champion of the world.
D’Amato taught Mike Tyson what role models do for children in poverty in churches, certain government programs, like the Job Corps, and community volunteers do every day. They teach them that just doing something because it feels good doesn’t mean that it is good—that punishment is often necessary to right a wrong, and that values and beliefs entails developing one’s own moral code, based on an understanding of the greater purposes of life, and the best interests of society as a whole. These are the moral values that impose limits on our individual rights, so that we will not infringe upon the rights of others.
It’s Okay to Feel Vulnerable
I have brothers who think they have made a mistake when they get caught committing an act of crime. In their mind, the bad judgment was not the act of the crime, but rather the actions that allowed them to be caught. Admission of guilt, or asking for forgiveness, is showing a sign of weakness in the poverty class. It’s also a sign of weakness to allow others to disrespect you. In order for troubled teens to turn their lives around, they must first start with the proposition that strength of character is admitting your failures and weakness—to show vulnerability. Displaying aggressiveness toward perceived disrespect is actually a sign of a sense of low self-worth, and is more likely to result in a rejection of the teen by the mainstream society.
Stimulate Empathy
I have a nephew who was also born into generational poverty. Though he graduated from high school and made the effort to go to college, he struggled in the new environment. After dropping out of college and returning home to his family, my nephew slowly returned to the type of behavior that could rob him of his future. I made the effort to stay in touch with him and encouraged him to get out into the world and stake his claim on the future. Within a few months he made the decision to join the Army and seems to be confident that he is turning his life around.
Today, he is well on his way to creating a new reality—a better way of life. When a person can see things the way they are, instead of the way they want them to be, only then can they begin to turn their life around. My nephew now has the kind of identity and respect for others that has forever changed his life. I have to give my nephew credit for hanging in there and proving that a person can make a life changing decision, even when the odds are against you.
For additional information about troubled teens, children in poverty, and parenting children in poverty please browse through the various categories and the posts by this author, available only on this website.
About the author: Douglas Wallacee is an attorney, a successful entrepreneur and a published author. His book launched nationwide on October 1, 2009 titled, Everything Will Be All Right, is an engaging memoir about the riveting journey of a child desperately seeking to escape the vicious cycle of poverty. In December 2009, the memoir won the prestigious Indie Bound Next List Notable Award in the best non-fiction category. The book can be purchased on the Internet at Amazon.
