How to Overcome the Odds
A university in New Jersey is using my memoir this semester as part of their studies in sociology. A couple of days ago I received a very nice letter from the Professor of Sociology at the university in which she made the following comment, ”We enjoyed reading about your struggles because as sociology majors we were able to use the sociological imagination to learn a lot and understand a lot about your life.”
She sent a list of questions from some of the students who wanted to know a little more about my story. I was greatly honored that the university had chosen my book for this semester as part of their studies. I was particularly intrigued by the question of one of the students, to wit:: ” No matter how many times I read your book I still couldn’t wrap my head around how you overcame all the obstacles in your life. What were some of the things that really helped you become so successful?”
It is not an unusual question from people who read my story, but the way the student posed the question made me realize that the concept of success itself was also a mystery. Success is born when “I,” a unique human being, irrespective of my social economic background, decide to make the decision to become a success–to dream big and become willing to commit the necessary time, resources and sacrifices needed to make that happen.
Many of you have read my writings regarding the devastating effects of put-downs, hunger and the deprivations of poverty, particularly upon those born into generational poverty. The loss of self-worth and the sustained stress of poverty will eventually take its toll, causing poverty victims to lose confidence in their abilities. As a result, they hesitate, even fear, the idea of venturing outside their comfort zone.
But, it’s not just the poor that hesitate when opportunity knocks on the door. As an entrepreneur, I’ve seen it happen on numerous occasions to members of all the social economic groups. The thing is, every word and phrasing choice reveals something about you as a unique human being. Your employers or clients will sense the spirit and energy behind your words and they will formulate opinions about you based upon that sense of energy and spirit. Therefore, a talented person who has a low sense of self-worth will be less likely to receive offers of opportunity. On the other hand, a person who oozes confidence but lacks ability will try to seize opportunity, only to see it slip out of their grasp, because they lacked the skills to hold on in the first place.
Whatever is it that holds people back? Often they are too wrapped up in their own affairs to listen to the fleeting sounds of opportunity pounding on closed doors. I’ve had employees whose energy and spirit shouted through their words, “Listen! What I have to say is important! “ I considered these types of people as my rising stars, future Vice Presidents of Operations, Managing Directors, or Department Supervisors. But, they were far and few between. However, the majority of my employees were satisfied with hanging on to a job. That’s fine, because they are important too, and no company can operate without them. But, that’s not what the student’s question was about–he/she wanted to know how I overcame the odds and became successful.
To overcome the odds, a person has to set a high standard—dream big but not so big that you fail for lack of ability. The secret is to pace your success, pushing yourself to the limit, a stretch that shoves you ahead of your peers, but not over the edge of the cliff. This is what separates the haves from the have-nots—the ability to match what headhunters and venture capitalist will expertly gauge as the right balance of risks.
Why is it that less than one percent of workers will reach that sweet spot of success?. Well, first of all, time does not work in our favor, and soon enough age catches up with the best of us. Wannabe dreamers and those who are continuously wrapped up in problems instead of opportunities become willing victims of self-absorption. Like islands lost in the vast Pacific, time reveals an occasional glimpse of peaks among the endless space of wasted days and wasted nights.
Secondly, in the best of times there will be perhaps one or two great opportunities that will come knocking at your door during your lifetime. You don’t get a third strike at the ball.
Notwithstanding everything else I have said in this blog entry, you have to seize the moment when that big opportunity arises—grab the bull by the horns and hold on tightly. Your mind may be saying, I’m not sure about this—I really want to go home right now—I don’t want to be doing this for the rest of my life–I cry every single day—I’m miserable! But, that’s just your mind seeking an easy way out. Toss caution to the wind and take a leap of faith. This is your chance to go for it. To overcome the odds, you must be driven by an unceasing obsession to achieve your goals. If you don’t have that obsessive passion, chances are you will never see it when opportunity comes your way.
